Saturday, December 18, 2010

I just need to get this off my chest

I assume by now that everyone out there knows I am pregnant..mostly because I can't seem to stop myself from being all blah blah blah, me me me, bloating, sick, IknowyouhatemebutIcantstoprunningmystupidmouth...
I actually deleted this blog and I think it was just a subconscious desire to attempt to silence myself because I am positive that I am going to annoy and alienate absolutely everyone I know with my new brand of crazy. I really wish I could promise that I will shut the eff up soon and learn to deal but that seems to be the main skill I lack right now. To be completely honest I am terrified and can't stop obsessing about everything and I think I am losing the grip I had on my OCD and I am slowly falling into a scary-ass land of compulsive obsessing and depression and exhaustion and fear. I keep being told that this is all normal and it is hormones but I honestly don't believe that and then I obsess about the fact that I think I am losing my mind..I guess I just want to apologize to everyone for having to put up with me and promise to just shut my damn trap so maybe I can make this feeling that everyone is annoyed by me to go away..
Yeah this totally isn't making me feel better or look any better..
Damn it.

I'm sorry that I don't have a "on a funny note" for this one..
I should probably delete this blog again.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

sorry, I have been MIA lately.

There has been a lot going on! I will be able to tell you all about it soon but for now I have to keep that little tidbit of news under wraps. I do, however, have a new obsession. It is called my brand new, bright red, locking  lidded crock pot. I know, I know..how lame, but seriously I love it. It is pretty and I can throw stuff in it in the morning and I come home and that magic little pot made me dinner. The inventer deserves a medal or a lap dance, I don't know..something good.
In related news, I scared the crap out of husband this morning when I woke up after a dream dripping with pink jelly beans and decided that I should just get started on some crock pot cacciatore. He woke up to me in the kitchen chopping onions and decided the only logical explanation had to be that I was sleepwalking? SERIOUSLY! He thought I was chopping onions in my sleep and stumbled downstairs to save me from my self-inflicted demise at the hand of a sharp knife and my own slumber. He's a truly wonderful husband and he cracks me up.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Why does random crap always happen to me when no one else is around to see/hear it???

So I am in the bathroom here at work and someone else walks in (I assume) in mid conversation (with themselves or on the phone, couldn't tell but I didn't hear anyone else.) and I hear "If it wasn't for coffee I don't think I'd ever pooh." Ummmmmmmm....Okay, do you know how hard I had to work to stifle my laugh?? Then as I washed my hands and got the heck out of there I turned off the bathroom light (it's habit at home, I'm green yo.) and then had to switch it back on and get out of there before I lost it...I'm smooth.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I'm feeling a little excited, I'm feeling a little burned out

Okay, I think I am going to try something new on here...How about a theme day? I need to get back to the writing I used to love, and I think I need to do it quickly.
That being said I am going to start a theme day (maybe wednesday, maybe tuesday?) in which I will post the writing style I used to be proud of, Music. Lyrics, poetry..it can be anything but I really had a lot to say back then and I am pretty sure I still do, If only I can find it.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The past is never really gone.

*UPDATED*


Okay, let me just throw it out there like old bread...Today is not a good day.
16 years ago tonight my first real boyfriend ever (writing our name together in little hearts, punched my V card, all that biz) died in a car accident. I think on some level I have been on edge since waking up this morning, then I realized it when setting my voicemail for work.. You can literally hear it on my voicemail...when I pause and spit the date out.. Just once I would love to be able to let this date slide by unnoticed but I guess it isn't going to happen.
Man, 16 years..it is like looking back on someone else's memories. I am not even remotely the same person I was before but I can't say if that is for the better or worse..I was reckless back then, now I am overly cautious with everything, overly sensitive and completely shut people out when I feel abandoned. To quote Leonard Cohen, "Maybe there's a God above, but all I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya, and it's not a cry that I hear at night, It's not someone who has seen the light..it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah".
I guess in terms of having changed I should just look at it as: I was 14 years old, I mean really..I was a child. I look at 14 year olds now and I can't believe I was ever that young or silly and wrapped up in love.
Please know, I wouldn't change anything about my life now, I am truly happy. I have the most incredible husband and we will (God willing) be starting a family soon,  I guess I am just remembering the time when I never thought I would get here and I tried to destroy practically everything around me. I really wish I had one of the Men in Black flashy things so I could just wipe some memories out so they didn't randomly jump up and attack me without warning..I don't much enjoy remembering any of the year or two after the accident..
One last thing..If you are going to do something really really stupid or reckless, think first about how it can have repurcusions for the rest of your family and friends lives, especially if you won't be around to pick up the pieces..

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Fill in the blank here

I use my blog to vent and waste time a lot, that is pretty much why I have it. Feel free to not read it if it dosen't interest you, I won't mind.
I just thought maybe it is time that I offer to help others vent, so here you go!

Fill in the blanks.

When I hear someone jabering on and on about nonsense, it makes me want to  _______.

When I see injustice in our world, it makes me feel ________.

When I am spoken over it makes me _______.

Now some happy exercises..

When I hear a baby laugh, I think of ____________.

When I think about my closest relative, I remember the time we ___________.

When I am surrounded by people that think I am one of a kind awesome, I am ________.


How about you guys????

Monday, October 18, 2010

little more venting..

Here is my next question...How many of you all have a friend who isn't really your friend at all...you are THEIR friend, but they aren't your friend in return...Why should I feel obligated to show up and support everything about your life when you can't be bothered to show up for one single thing that is important to me?? Seriously, why would I want to be friends with you?? I think I have old relationships that I am just playing a role in..I am always there to help them out, other them support, find them what they need and I never see them otherwise. This is total BS and it ends here.

drama, competition and jackassery...

Three things I can't freaking stand. This is especially true when I am trying quite hard to stay out of all three and yet it seems I am getting sucked in against my will. I am not in direct competition with anyone..ever. If that changes, trust me, you will all know! I am not shady and I try to support everyone in my life with love and respect. Do I get pissed off? Heck yeah! Do I vent when I am pissed off? You bet your sweet ass! Do I try to be a great friend at all time? Of course, but I am human...
I'm not quite sure what I am getting at but I felt it just needed to be said.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

quickest list of random things about me ever..

Okay..Sorry about the short post but I was absolutely enthralled watching the earth give birth to miners in Chile.

Things about me..the random edition.
I am the only childless child in my family. (working on it, mom!)
I write this crap while flipping through my Ipod, it helps with the randomness.
My first job was at Hardee's and I managed to make fun of a presidential candidate during my short tenure there. Bob Dole, I know..the pen should have tipped me off.
I have a scar on my knee where I skinned it every day falling down at the same spot on my street for an entire summer.
I met my husband before I could speak. (HOOK EM YOUNG, LADIES)
No, it was not an arranged marriage, we just got lucky.
(hah! I said lucky)
Listening to TOOL makes me angry for no reason.
Sting makes me feel lovely..that is one gorgeous tantric gentleman.
This site needs automatic spell-check.
I taught my sister to appreciate my poop humor by desensitizing her to it. I randomly bring up poop at family dinners. I think she finds it endearing now.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. Dress up is fun.
I touched two famous men last night.
I look pregnant in that picture. (seriously, check my previous blog..baby bump or fat? FAT!)
Doughnuts taste good.
running out of time...what to write, what to write?!?!?!?
Breaded tenderloin horseshoes are my favorite..from the Barrelhead. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
TOTS! (reference to BarrelHead)

Okay kids, gotta run. Time to shut it down!

Time to escape the comfort zone, people!

I had a really good time last night by forcing myself to get out of my cute, cozy little box and go do something out of the ordinary.
Over the past few years I have been choosing comfort and solitude over adventure more and more, call it the security of having a great husband and great home, but putting on my cozies after work and having a snuggle on the couch ranks right up there with my favorite things. I would honestly rather stay in and watch something on tv or on demand then get all dolled up and go to a bar to sit around and talk to a bunch of people I don't really know. (most nights, and this dosen't include my actual friends)
Last night, however, was different.
Last night I got a text from a good friend asking me to go out to the college and see a private screening of the new FX show Terriers with her. My first reaction was: Naw..I'm cozy and I would have to put on something cute and fix my makeup..too hard. After about 6 follow up texts (Michelle can be quite persuasive) I finally got my lazy ass up and went out to the college with her. Let me explain what I walked into..a residence hall with about 25 19 year old girls sitting around and giving us a look that says "WTH are they doing here..they are old". I was instantly regretting my decision. They are all talking about a chem lab and Michelle and I are discussing pre-schools and bus routes. Awkward. I shake it off and decide that the little 19 year olds can suck it and I am staying, I came here to do something out of the ordinary after all, what did I expect? So fully prepped and starting to get sucked into the excitement around me I settle into to the screening room and start to loosen up. Michelle starts smacking the crap out of me and I notice that the actors have arrived. Okay, I will geek out really quick and tell you that I, even at the ripe old age of 30, was a bit star struck. Oh. Dear. Lord. Donal Logue and Michael Raymond-James were hanging out in the same room as I, and they are HOT. Just sayin'. It also needs to be mentioned that the show, Terriers, was actually really good. I enjoyed it and it had a nice mix of comedic timing and bad-assery to it. I'm a fan. I am including the pic of me with the guys, although it is an AWFUL picture of me, it really shows how freaking adorable they are.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

feeling good!

I had the chance this past weekend to hang out with a couple different groups of friends and I tore it up. I mean it, I was out Friday and Saturday night at a local favorite watering hole and both nights managed to get to drunk texting and drunk posting all night. The first night was a dinner and drinks night with friends, always a good time with this group of people, and then I walked into a work birthday upstairs that was HILARIOUS!! Seriously some of the funniest crap I have ever seen was going on upstairs at the Floyd's Thirst Parlor. I managed to walk into one of my bosses wearing bear goggles and a thong over his jeans for his 50th. I was dying. Then Saturday, same bar, same floor, two of my good friends (twins) were having their 30th birthday and I had a BLAST!! Talk about having a great weekend, I got to see two completely separate groups of friends and catch up with people I haven't seen in years. My liver is still sore though, so I think next weekend will not involve any drinking.
Oh! I also got to hang out with my family twice, once for my nephew's 14th birthday (WTF!?! How do they get so old so quick?) and then Sunday to move furniture for my Mom and then play volleyball. (sidenote: this is not a real game, we suck at volleyball and just smack a scooby doo ball over a volleyball net my mom put up in the backyard, this is not REAL volleyball.) During the volleyball game I learned two very important things about my family. 1) My sister has never heard the saying "baking air biscuits" before..and 2) my husband stinks at fake volleyball and I hope our kids don't get his (lack of) athletic prowess.
I laughed so hard this weekend that I don't have to go to the gym for a week. My abs still hurt.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Foot in Mouth day

Today is not my friend.
First of all, I broke the cardinal rule of Reply All. Craptastic.
I managed to send a VERY snarky email out to my entire team..I r genius.
Luckily my boss actually agreed with my message (not my attitude, I am sure) and sent a follow up email to the team regarding my original message. Then I managed to cut off a dear friend on my drive into the office from lunch, I didn't know it was him until he managed to get up along side me to wave, with his two sons in the car. I am a total jackass today. TOTAL JACKASS. Sheesh.

Oh crap! I almost forgot!!
I also forwarded a nice client email I received to my boss, while adding a note that a co-worker thought that we should be provided Frosty's for our hard work...and auto correct changed it to Fourty's. I asked my boss for fourty's.

I am awesome.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

We may get a little personal, but I am told that is what a blog is for..

I like my life, I really really do. I have everything anyone could ever want. Don't get me wrong, I am not rich, I do not drive a Bentley and I live in a modest 2 bedroom house about five minutes from the center of "all that is wrong with government", Illinois (The capital building in Springfield). What I DO have is possibly the world's most incredible husband and an adorable loving puppy. I have a job that I am good at and a boss that really does respect me and acknowledge all my hard work. This IS the american dream. I understand that. So why do I feel like I am, a)being selfish and b)about to upset the wonderful balance I have managed to achieve, in my sudden quest to have a baby. Am I the only person that has had this struggle? Is it just my OCD telling me that everything is about to implode?
On the flipside..Why isn't it working yet? People get knocked up with the help of SoCo every weekend as far as I can tell, so why is it so difficult to get knocked up when you are FREAKING TRYING TO! Seriously?!?! Are my ovaries lazy?? I don't want to end up taking my temperature every 10 minutes, but evidently I have absolutely NO CLUE what my body is doing. This is frustrating, especially since I am equally terrified of having a baby and not being able to get pregnant. I have no idea what I should be feeling anymore.. I am excited about the future but terrified about the turn the world seems to be taking (including, but not limited to: the state of education, the state of the economy, the unrest between contries and the all too present terror threat, and last but not least, the crazy people that do terrible things for no reason right here in our country.)

I am starting to see that this IS probably the OCD..Hello there, therapy.

Anyway, I just felt a need to unload. Sometimes the weight of things just build up until the weight of nothing can become so heavy that getting out of bed becomes a struggle, and I do not want to get to that point. I know that everything will be fine, and everything is going to work out. Hubby tells me that every time I get freaked out and I trust him completely.
I am just a little surprised that, at 30, I could be this freaked out about taking this next step. I guess we are all just a tentative child inside when it comes to making big decisions.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I am an addict..but not a hardcore one, more like how the smurfs were addicts.

I woke up just early enough to make a full pot of coffee to bring in to work with me. Not early enough to blow dry my hair, mind you, but early enough to make sure I have acceptable coffee to drink today. I can't possibly give it up. I quit smoking but I can't quit caffeine. I understand that is the equivilant of knocking heroine but TRUST, my addiction to The Buck is not to be screwed with...I will cut you.
I am drinking my Anniversary Blend with hazelnut right now..mmmmmmmmmmmm, it's like a thousand hugs from angels. I am not giving it up and you can't make me.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Oh My..

I am seriously considering giving up coffee..this should terrify anyone that knows me personally as I assume it will be the equivilant of putting ethanol in a big rig...But I think it is necessary at this point.
I probably spend upwards of $50-$100 a month on Starbucks. Seriously. I need an intervention and probably drugs for the withdrawls that will surely accompany such a detox.
I read somewhere that eating an apple is more effective than a cup of coffee to wake you up in the morning.
This. is. utter. bull. shit.
I tried it..all I can think of is Coffee, a big steaming latte with 4 pumps of hazelnut syrup..blargurgglegurrglegurrb. (sorry, I was drooling a'la Homer Simpson and his pink donuts)
This post is not making much sense, is it? I think I'd better run to Starbucks after all..

Friday, October 1, 2010

Oh Hai!!

Okay, let me just point out that every time I see someone spell *Hi* that way, my brain immediately turns them in to a cartoon and I see them pop up and start waving like a drunk Dora the Explorer. I can't control this. It just happens. I now think that half of my facebook friends are drunk, overly excited cartoon characters. You're welcome. Someone needs to stop this unless they are captioning an LOLCat, because those are awesome.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I had cupcakes and yet today still makes me want to go back to bed..

I had a cupcake for breakfast, usually that would make my day. Add in a cup of Blue Mountain Coffee and it becomes a stellar day, however, it appears the day is dead set on mocking me. While doing my makeup I shook my powder only to find that the top wasn't on and then had to clean everything and dump out my coffee since an inordinant amount of Bare Minerals was floating in it. I attempted to do my hair only to spray watermelon body spray instead of bed head beach waves spray in it (I smell like a 12 year old) then tried to towel dry it out with the towel I cleaned up all the powder with. awesome.

I still managed to get out of the house on time to go get the tags for the car (that was a win) but didn't have the time to stop for coffee which sucked. a lot. I also found out I am out of the Starbucks Via so no coffee for me since I won't pay $5 a month to drink the bobcat urine they call coffee here.

Then I went over the check book only to realize that I forgot to pay the electic and gas companies and have been spending money that wasn't "disposable" after all. freaking sweet. I should be getting my dumbass award any day now.

I also warn everyone that today is my boring late shift so you will be getting multiple blogs.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

kindawannascreamtodayohmygodimissvacationandihavetopeeevery20minutesandnoIAMNOTPREGNANTYET

Hmmmm..that was pretty much all I had to say..yup. This monthly gift of mine just keeps on showing up and it is starting to really really really REALLY piss me off. Whatever...more money for me. I am going to need to shop for fall anyway. I really really REALLY miss Jamaica. I think my ovaries are lazy, by the way..or they are just total failures, oh well... This is pretty much just a TMI blog today..I will not be posting this to facebook or twitter, this is just a venting blog. I hate everything today. Someone bring me a damn cupcake.

vacation was incredible...work is not as incredible

WHY DID I COME BACK FROM JAMAICA???????

It was gorgeous, relaxing, oceanside paradise and now I am here. In my cube farm. Answering phones.

What the hell, dude.

I miss Jamaica.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Breaking news....I am nuts.

Here is a quick summary of last evening at my house: Got home, went for a run, had dinner with Anthony. He ended up allowing me to skip the gym since I had opted for a jog so after dinner I cozied up and settled in for tv and puppy snugglin' good times. What happened next shall forever haunt me...the LARGEST FREAKING SPIDER ON EARTH ran from my DVD shelves across the living room carpet and paused (I assume to consider the best way to kill me) in front of the armoir. Seriously, this spider was soooo big that I wasn't sure what it was at first. I was totally frozen..terrified and having a very very hard time coming up with a plan, since all I could hear inside my head was screaming. Picture how ridiculous this actually looked as I detail what unfolded.. I am huddled on my couch attempting to not look directly at the spider from hell while pretending that I don't see anything so Cheech dosen't notice and run over to eat the deadly evil and I assume venomous transformer of a spider. Then after the spider moved again (SHRIEK!) to the puppy snuggle ball I hightailed it to the bathroom where all I could find was a can of flying insect killer (I'll try anything...I would have used hair spray is I had any) and about a MILLION FREAKING CANDLES! I grabbed the pest poison and snuck back into my living room while trying to look nonchalant to both the quizzical puppy and the bloodthirsty spider to turn on the overhead light. Fan turns on, no light. JEEEBUS!! So then I have to drag a chair from the dining room to the living room (it is getting much harder to appear casual at this point) so I can reach the fan to turn off the wind machine and on the light so that I can keep the spider in my sights..And THEN..FINALLY...I chicken out and cower on the couch at the mere thought of walking closer to the spider. I rock. I start to reformulate a plan but all I can come up with is to open the front door of my house and fling the snuggle ball out the front door while screaming and pray the spider dosen't fall out or jump out and attack me.

At this point, Anthony came home. (Thank Jesus!)

I started speaking really fast to explain all that had happened while he had been at the gym, which only worried him more I bet. Then I just started saying "No, Don't touch the snuggle ball. It is IN THERE!!" So he sent me upstairs (mostly because I think I was freaking him out) and then I hear "Holy Crap, THAT IS A BIG SPIDER" followed by a heavy thud. Dead prehistoric deadly venomous ninja spider. Halleluia!

Cue the Xanax.

I will just post verbatim what my tweets were posted last night.
"Any twits out there taking Xanax? (generic xanax anyway..I have HMO) Do your pills have a symbol that looks like the breast cancer ribbon? Because the last thing I need in the middle of an anxiety attack is to suddenly think I have cancer..not cool pharmaceutical company."

It was a really long night.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

feel free to skip this as I may get a little political..

I really prefer not to discuss politics with people I like (because I want to continue to like them) but this whole "burning the Koran' thing is absolutely ridiculous. In fact, I have a friend who is asking everyone he knows to buy a Koran on September 11th to prove to the world that Americans as a whole are not a "hate filled nation of complete hypocrites" and I support this movement 110%. The pastor in Florida is turning Radical Christians against a religion that doesn’t in ANY WAY promote terror ideals. Now we have a set of Radical Christians inciting a group of Radical Islamists..How much freaking sense does this make? This country was "supposedly" founded on the ideal of religious freedom (I doubt the people we stole the land from agree, however.) and to continue to hunt and persecute people who do not agree with Christianity is inhumane, un-American and, most of all, against the fucking LAW.

You may be able to tell that I am not pleased. This makes me angry.

Friday, September 3, 2010

HOLY VACATION, BATMAN!

So, we are roughly 16 days from my Jamaica vacation where I will witness my BEST FRIEND EVAH marry a guy I ACTUALLY like! How great is that?!?!?!? Know what is even better??? Finding out we are taking the same conncetion from Charlotte to Montego Bay!!! Holy crap I can't stand it... Now you are going to get a plethora of random BFF pics..so there.




Thanks for the spelling lessons!

I am starting to think I have the most read and least followed blog ever...I have 4 followers but routinely get DM'd from people that read me but aren't following me. I feel like a lonely cat woman who thinks she has no friends but when she actually walks out of her house to get the mail it turns into Cheers out there and everyone is waving and shouting my name...

I didn't get any sleep last night.

I am just rambling..

I am heading to Starbucks now.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

today is nuts-o

I am late again and have had an absolutely insane day..Crazy with the productivity, I am..don't you know.
I think I am slap-happy. All I want to do is go home and wash my face, put on my cozies and snuggle my pup (and husband..he is cute as well) and eat the indian lentils and rice my husband promised me this morning. (that is kind of a lie..I totally want to head home and do all those things while Jon Bon Jovi follows me around with an acoustic guitar singing to me softly..but that isn't bloodly likely, now is it?) (oookay, just to be honest..if I am going to say that Jon will be in my house with me after work I think we can just erase the husband and the puppy from the evening and I would leave my makeup on. Also no snuggly pants...actually, no pants)
Well then. Next subject.
How about a new weekly "random crap no one needs to know about me" round up??

Right on. Here we go.

I am allergic to venom. I have a doctors note to prove it.
I will not go in my basement after dark unless there is a tornado screaming over head.
This is related to the venom issue, and the invisible ninja spider that lives down there, despite my assassins multiple attempts to disarm him.
It is crazy lonely in this office when you are alone in a storm.
I do not like tootsey rolls.
I also do not know how they spell tootsey.
I love perfume but am allergic to it.
If I spend too long in a Sephora, I will get a migraine. Every. Damn. Time.
I am awesome.
I am running out of crap to say.
I am addicted to caffeine.
I will, on occasion, offer to punch my grandma for a snickers.
shush, she is a tough old bird, she could totally take me in a fight.
My great grandmo used to threaten to give us a "fishy fishy" if we didn't eat, then she would back hand us in the head.
To this day, I am convinced that people in Italy hit each other with fish.
I just realized that italian women become oddly violent regarding their food.
Full legal name has more characters that the alphabet.
Still an hour and a half to go..Damn it.
Scooter my daisey heads.
I did that to see if I could confuse you..
Also so Mrs C can post the inevitable retort.
There is a scary rumble over head and I am surrounded by windows.
Living in the Midwest is crap.
I have cramps.
I posted my resume on Monster and every life insurance company in the USA has now offered me a position. I turned them all down. because I have standards. and a job.
I am now bored with this.
Blog fail.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

blogger is trying to make me find Jesus.



If you click next from my blog you will be reading all about Psalms and Jesus and...Deer? Yeah, I don't get that one either. Basically what I am getting at is.. "I WAS BAPTISED AT 6 MONTHS OLD, BLOGGER!! I DON'T NEED SAVED!! I JUST REALLY LIKE CURSING!! SHITBALLS COCK COCK SURF TESTICALS DOUCHEBALL ASSHAT!"

Okay, then.
That is all.

Jamaica



Sigh......just sayin'

I can not wait.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

DAMNIT!

Blogger keeps losing my posts halfway through writing them! Here is what I remember from the past post I *tried* to write.

I am slighly sticky but smell like vanilla soda and victory.
15 business days until Jamaica.
Booyah.

why did I wear stilletos?

Bon Jovi has a new single breaking in less than 24 hours!

I am the queen of webinars.

My husband stayed home to cook and clean for me today.

If this dosen't save I am not posting today.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

sigh....

Okay peeps, I am seriously tired. As in, I felt drugged when I crawled into the shower this morning and I had to use eye drops three times before getting my contacts jammed in my bleary eyes.. I want sleep!
In unrelated news..(or possibly related news, I can't tell anymore) I took my Chihuahua for a run with me last night. I actually had a woman slow down to stare as I jogged past with a tiny little dog running next to me full bore..I think she either thought I was loco or that I should be arrested for animal cruelty. Cheech actually did really well, he had a full gallop going for about one full block before he decided that he really wasn't peeing on enough trees and he was tired of running like he stole something, so we had to slow it down so he could take a crap in front of the house with the "keep your pets moving" sign (haha, I really enjoyed NOT cleaning that up!) and then decided he wanted to turn around and go home, so home we went. He totally passed out on the floor when we got home and then pulled himself to his water bowl for a drink before stretching back out to cool his belly on the hardwood. I am thinking he actually enjoyed himself since he had a huge puppy grin on his face for almost a half an hour. I think that, with regular training, I can get him up to a full "round the block" run within a month..he is such a couch potato!

Anywho...I am going to go back to my "trying like hell to keep my eyes open so when the boss drops by my desk he dosen't make me crap myself" initiative for the day.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Seriously!?!?!???!?

I could not get any more bored if I was trapped in a room by myself!! Today is just slllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. Please someone entertain me! I can't take this crap anymore today, I am super sleepy and if things don't pick up I will have a very hard time keeping my eyes open! I guess it is time for some more randoms about me..

I want to study how to master french pastry.
I also want to open a bakery in St. Louis.
I also want to go see sea world.
I want to work with dolphins.
I am going to swim with them in Jamaica even if it kills me.
I am more excited about the fresh juice bar at our resort in Jamaica than I am about the booze.
I think that makes me old.
I am only 30.
I want to learn Italian.
I am extremely mean if woken up in the middle of the night.
I value my sleep above pretty much any other part of my day.
I can sound cheerful over the phone while I give you the finger.
If I sound extra chipper and helpful even after 10 minutes on the call, I AM giving you the finger.
I could really go for a white chocolate macadamia cookie right now..
I also need a big icey glass of skim milk.
I think icey is spelled wrong.
Probably because it *Technically* isn't a word.
I just verified..it is only a word is spelled correctly: icy.
No, I will not fix the previous mis-spellings. They give my blog "character".
I miss my puppy.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm






That is all....le sigh.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Back from vacation #2

Our 10 year anniversary was fantastic..we made dinner at home and had a wonderful candlelit meal in our dining room (which we never use) and it was beautiful.



Dinner was grilled lobster and lamb and I tried out this new recipe for sauteed kale that was wonderful!



Other than that we were just lazy bums the entire four days and it was AWESOME!



Best long weekend ever!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

still bored

15 minutes left..yehaw! I just want to go home and lay down because I am randomly dizzy and nauseous now. No, I haven't eaten any eggs lately..I read MSN too, peeps.

I also updated my sister-blog over at http://hoitytoitywittybitches.blogspot.com/ in case you feel like being a voyeur and checking out my random email chains with my bestie in South Carolina..we keep in touch via email all day long and often end up cracking each other up..it is an email chain so you have to start at the bottom, just a little hint for people who don't understand that sort of thing, random poster who "didn't get it".

Yeah..this is pretty freaking random too, huh..okay straight into more random facts about me..

I am an excellent test taker, unless you deny me a calculator.
I like to keep odd squishy light up toys at my desk so I can amuse myself by attempting to juggle.
I secretly say lines from Goodnight Moon to myself at bedtime still.
I still sleep with stuffed animals that I have had since birth..they are scraps of cloth at this point.
I make the sign of the cross when I drive by roadkill. (someone needs to bless the poor little animals!)
I am pretty sure catholic guilt gave me OCD.
I am going to keep doing this until it is time to leave.
I think I love having house guests but then I can't wait to get my house back..seriously..I need time to wander around in my house make-up free in my glasses, people!
I am POSITIVE that my dog is smarter than everyone else's dogs.
(Dude, he is a genius, and so intuitive!)(shut up..it was a joke, kinda)
My friends become more like family the longer that put up with my crazy..LOVE YOU SHENANIGANS!!!
My life goal is to take Jon Bon Jovi's pants off with my teeth.
I am also positive if I ever meet him for real the only sound he will hear from me is my body hitting the floor when I pass out.
I seriously want to be pregnant, but I am terrified of being in charge of another person's tiny life.
I love whicker chairs.
I love the chairs outside of Cracker Barrels and so badly want to own one, but they are ridiculously expensive.

okay...that ought to do it..time to record my voicemail and get on with VACATION! YAY!

prepare thyself!!!!!!



I am the late person today at work again..prepare for an influx of blogging today..I can only hope it will be epic.

I just have to get through to 7:30 pm to start my four day weekend..come on time machine!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

almost there!




We look like teenagers!!!
So I am less than two business days away from my mini-vacation for my ten year wedding anniversary and I am so excited to have a long weekend to do nothing with! I must be showing my age (although surely 30 isn't that old, peoples!) but I can't think of a better way to spend a vacation than doing absolutely nothing! LOVE IT! (we are going to Jamaica in a month to renew our vows, so I am not wasting the vacation, there is a bigger celebration coming up!)

I am super super jazzed to be celebrating with my husband who just happens to be the best man I have ever met. You would not believe the amount of times I have heard "I can't wait to meet your husband, because I can't IMAGINE the man that puts up with you!"
Yeah...He freaking RULES! He is the reason that I am still as obnoxious and awesome as the day we met..he actually challenges me to go out and have fun when I am mopey and seriously wishes I would let loose MORE OFTEN!
Yeah..he's perfect, sorry ladies. Alll Mine!



I can't believe it has been ten whole years...Talk about being the luckiest woman in the world..





And best of all..he let me pick Thank You For Loving Me by Bon Jovi for our first dance..he is amazing.

Monday, August 16, 2010

WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

I had the best weekend ever! We didn't have any plans so the hub, bub and I just got to hang out and be lazy bones all weekend, it was amazing! I had the most incredible weekend with my husband ever, and Cheecher-monkey had time with his daddy to play and entire puppy-pool tournament. (The final score was Cheech:27, Anthony:-8)

(cheech is the master of puppy-pool, he's a total ringer)

I am ridiculously relaxed to start off my short work week, and then we have a whole four days to do only what WE want to do again. I'm loving this!

Poof-daddy got back from his vacation returning to Washington to see his fam and friends, so I have plenty of ridiculous conversation and mocking to do...It was waaaaay too quiet without him here.

Could my blog become ANY more random? Let's see...

I love peas..even out of a can.
I hate blueberries unless they are in muffins or pancakes (then they are aces!)
I secretly wonder what my dog is actually saying when he barks directly at me with an intense expression on his face.
I love lamps.
I love sleeping with the window open.
I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate locust shells, especially when I see one right in front of me and scream and then realize it isn't the bug..just his shell..GROSS!
I am allergic to spider venom.
I have to poop.

That is all.

Friday, August 13, 2010

I am going to have to rename this blog soon..

I am pretty sure that my three readers know how miserable I have been lately..I think I should seriously rename this thing to "How Angie is Surviving Work Until She Pulls a Slater and Drinks Beer On A Plane's Emergency Slide"

I will get right on that..in the interim I have decided to post snippets of lyrics that have helped me survive so far..

---------------------------------------------------------

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist, or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
-Foo Fighters-Best Of You

------------------------------------------------------------------

If you're not angry
you're just stupid
or you don't care
how else can you react
when you know
something's so unfair
the men of the hour
can kill half the world in war
make them slaves to a super power
and let them die poor

I was locked
into being my mother's daughter
I was just eating bread and water
thinking
nothing ever changes
and I was shocked
to see the mistakes of each generation
will just fade like a radio station
if you drive out of range
-Ani DiFranco-Out of Range

------------------------------------------------------------------

and you just KNOW there will be some Bon Jovi, right..here we go..

Always thought I'd die young
In these hands I've held the gun
But it's too late for dying
Now there's nothing worth hiding
I've lost love lived with shame
I was humbled by my fall from grace
On the steps of decision
It's revenge or forgiveness

Halle Halle
We're one breath away
Halle Halle
From our judgement day
-Bon Jovi-Learn to Love

There you go..I have reverted to using other songs to get through since I appear to have lost the ability to write anything worth a damn myself..I can't wait until vacation..

Friday, August 6, 2010

Ever get that feeling..

That no matter how hard you work it won't make a difference? I'm there..
I am sick of this and I would prefer to walk out right now. I do not want a job where I am held accountable for others mistakes and no matter how I fix it I still end up the one that is blamed. I am just done. I am trying everything I can do to not cry at my desk right now and it isn't working very well..and if you know me at all you know I pretty much only cry when I am angry and then I just get more frustrated with myself. I just don't think I am cut out for this...Dear GOd, I need a new job.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

holyshitballsmakeitstop!!!

I desperatley need to be done with today so that I can go directly back to bed..I am sick as shit and sitting here at work until 7:30 PM because I AM A ROCKSTAR EMPLOYEE, PEOPLE. I have tried to be pleasant and nice on the phone but damn it, I just can't do it anymore for today..plus the damned air keeps clicking on and off constantly over my head and I am going to freaking bash it with an office chair at any moment..be right back, I need to go throw up again..

Monday, August 2, 2010

I am back..frownyfacefrownyfacefrownyface

Back at work today after an amazing weekend in Chicago with Poof-Daddy..Oh. Dear. Lord. I love that city! I went berserk in Coach and we hit Sephora hard...I had the most incredible tapas at 1492 and our dinner for my "birthday" came with complementary champagne from our waiter (who was incredible). All in all I have to say that this was the best girls weekend ever, and I haven't even gotten to the concert yet! The boys were on fire at Soldier Field! The show was absolutely incredible and I can not WAIT for the next leg of the tour to start!!

Here is the set list..You can totally tell where Matt started winning the war on getting me drunk :)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

tomorrow is the DAY, Bitches!


I just have to get through today at work and I get to go home and pack for Chicago. I am going to visit the "other man" and I just can't wait to see him. (wink wink, nudge nudge) I mean, seriously ladies..who dosen't want to lick him?
Now for the big question, what do I pack? I am a cronic over packer..and you should see the shoes I have ready for the trip. This could get difficult. I am there for 2 nights so really that means I need to preselect at least 4 outfits based on what I project my mood to be while I am there..2 going out outfits and two wandering the city eating and shopping outfits..not to mention you KNOW I will buy something that I can't wait to wear while I am there..this is oh so tricky.
(Awesome, now I have "Tricky" stuck in my head. Great.)
Argh! I am going to forget something I need, I just know it..do you think Jon will let me borrow a toothbrush? ;)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

so sleepy

I have no clue what my issue is, I am so fricking tired and grumpy today that I think someone is pushing my self-destruct button. I have the worst allergies right now (hello Illinois summer) and the stupid nighttime sudafed is clearly killing me 12 HOURS LATER..WTF?!?!?!? Isn't this stuff supposed to wear off so you can proceed with your life as planned?? I could fall asleep right now, I think it gave me narcolepsy. This ought to be fun..
Pleasepleasepleaseplease be done by friday, I can't be sick for my Chicago weekend!

Monday, July 26, 2010

ohdearlordkillmenow..

Seriously....
SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP
SHUTUPSHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


oh my god....I am going to crap in my hand and throw it at her in 2.3 seconds....

Does anyone know of a company hiring in St. Louis that offers a pension and benefits..I have got to get out of here!!!!!

This is not directed at you, dear reader, but I must get something off of my chest

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!!!!!! NOBODY IS LISTENING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Okay...I feel slightly better..

Seriously, one day I will find a way to record of audio of what it sounds like in my office all day looooooong. It is enough to make me scream! Especially at one specific co-worker who I truly believe talks just to hear her own voice, and she is so snotty that she has the gall to talk about other people being LOUD! Oh. Dear. Lord. SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!!

This will be why I end up in either the funny farm or lock up..

Friday, July 23, 2010

not happy right now...

Here is another of my pet peeves...do not send me a random distressed/upset email that I wont receive until AFTER you log out and then run away with your phone turned off so I can't reach you..I think my blood pressure is roughly double what it should be right now...seriously. my fingers tingle. Not pleased... Kinda want to scream.

Baffled by our new "upgrades"

I don't think the IE7 likes the blogger site..This is my second attempt to post today..
Anywho, it is finally friday and I couldn't be happier. (except I work until 7:30 again, I could be happier if I were off at 5:00, so I guess I am a big liar)
This weekend is actually not packed with uber-expensive crap so I may just get to relax and not abuse my poor checking account for once..I am trying out this whole responsible thing since I am now 30. I am kinda hoping I can talk my hubby into setting up the pool again but I may need to settle for going to someone else's pool ::sigh:: what a horrible terrible very bad world, eh?
I am still gearing up for my train trip to Chicago in a week..I love traveling! I love flying and trains especially..I don't really like road trips if they will last over 4 hours and I have never ever riden on a bus (I don't plan to either) but train and plane travel is aces with me!! I just have to keep thinking of all the cool stuff that is coming up so that I can keep motivated..Chicago! Jamaica!! Ahhhhhh! Everything seems right with the world again..

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

out of my pet peeves, this is the winner

If we are having a conversation about anything, do me a solid and LISTEN. Please don't attempt to anticipate my next question and answer what you think I may have been asking, LISTEN TO THE QUESTION. If you do not have the ability to do this then we should not converse. ever. It just starts to feel like I am having a totally different conversation than you are, and then it begins to feel like a game of "how many ways can I phrase this question before I get an actual answer to it"
That game makes me want to take a cue ball and slam it into your face, just so you know.

To Summarize: Please be an active member of our conversation. Said another way: Please listen actively and not passively. One more time for the kids: If you do not listen to me when I speak, you will bleed. You will also probably be confused by what happened to you face because you were having an imaginary conversation with yourself the entire time.

That is all.

I think someone is getting hacked up in the bathroom right now

I hear the wierdest things when I am here alone...Either the cleaning crew is taking the toilets apart to clean them or something is going down in there..

Also I think poof-daddy is no longer speaking to me tonight. :( I will have to let him wear my sparkly heels to make it up to him. (it's not the first time he has worn them...He wore them back to our hotel for me when my feet hurt and he had lost both contacts and I insisted on waving like a beauty queen to all the passing cars when we were in St. Louis) (awww memories.)

UPDATED>He still loves me...poof-daddy LOVES ME!

Seriously though..I think I need more starbucks..

Prepare for a looooong blog..because I AM BORED

Okay gang...
To say I am bored is an understatement. I am stuck at my office until 7:30 PM Central tonight manning the phones and being my usually chipper, ultra-helpful self. Quit Laughing.

Seriously.

I can HEAR you..

Anyway..I don't have a specific reason for venting or blogging, I can't even vent about annoying people today because I can't talk about my work..seriously, we have a POLICY regarding BLOGGING..stupid media policies.

I am wearing my new super hot stilettos from http://www.shoedazzle.com/ (if you guys don't know what this site is..GO THERE) and I seriously think my gay bestie stretched them out when he "tried them on" uh huh. You are not borrowing these heels, poof-daddy. (dude..that is totally his new nickname..who wants to take bets on if he gets mad the first time I say it? anyone?)

New random... Why did anyone ever think to call a gay poof? I call my shower loufah a poof...how does that translate? How do you spell loufah? (this is what it sounds like in my head all day long)

HAHAHAHA!! I just made poof-daddy nervous because I told him I am blogging about him..he is sooooooo anal. wait.. HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! Okay..now I am just being infantile..

BWAHAHAH
HA
ha
ha

okay, I am over it. basically. (let's be honest..I am going to laugh about that until I go to bed tonight)

My best friend FINALLY got on Twitter. That makes me happy because (as Prince said) Facebook is sooooo dead. (or was that myspace) (or the internet) (or tetris) (never mind, nobody listens to him if he isn't singing or playing guitar anyway)

(I think it was tetris)

I head to Chicago next weekend to see BON JOVI at Soldier Field. You will learn quite quickly that I love Bon Jovi. Love them, as in I will lick each and every one of them before I die, especially Jon.. I may go to jail afterwards but my sister promised to bail me out of jail if I was arrested for molesting Jon Bon Jovi, and I will hold her to it. Poof-daddy is going with me to the show and I can't wait to tear up the Maggie Mile shopping and drinking with him. While wearing my new stilettos that are SLIGHTLY TOO LARGE NOW. Guess who has to carry them when I get sick of wearing them..PooF-DaddY is correct!


Okay..be back later..this day isn't getting any more exciting..

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

going to be very bored today

My hubby is going to Mayhem in St. Louis today..
Good for him, right? I sure don't want to go, I can't take that music for even a 10 minute car trip to the store..However, I worry whenever I know he is driving a long distance and is apt to be distracted especially in rough weather conditions. (please note: midwest summers are always apt to turn violent, even the 100% chance of thunderstorms and heat advisory in St. Louis today is pretty well expected this time of year) So in other words, I am FREAKING OUT DUDE!

Seriously. Why can't work be super super busy today so that I can stop thinking about all the stupid ass accidents on 55 every day and the fact that I don't consider him the safest driver out there EVER..I know this is just my OCD but I am seriously inventing every dangerous scenario that could possibly happen and then my brain convinces me it is not only possible but likely. Stupid brain. Maybe we can follow the freak out up with a migraine? Wouldn't that be swell...

Anyway..Today is going to suck. I hate cooking for myself and going to bed by myself sucks also..I really really like the marriage thing. It is cozy and safe and comfortable..but having a day and night all to myself usually sounds exciting and relaxing all at the same time. Why is it screwing with me today? I blame the weather..Illinois summers screw with my emotions. It's Sunny, It's STORMING, Hello Tornado Sirens, Hey the sun is out again...all in HALF AN HOUR!?!?!? Welcome to Springfield.

I need to move.

JAMAICA

For Shenanigans, since she started this whole Blog thing and I can't wait to see her again!


Welcome

Sooo, I am literally doing this to fill time at work. I HATE being bored. I also love to write random crap that strikes me as funny or stuff that ticks me off. I also feel I should warn everyone that sometimes I like to get a little deep. You just won't know what is coming out whenever I feel like posting so Warning Warning, thanks for stopping by..