Random Observation of the day...

I am cheating. This observation is actually from this weekend but here goes...

When I see a black porsche and notice that a woman is driving it, my initial reaction is "Good for her!!"
When I see a black porsche and notice that a man is driving it, my initial reaction is "douchebag."

Hmmm....girl power?

you know you are a mother when....

Here is a new list I have been making in my head for a few weeks now. I feel like sharing it with you all. :)

You know you are officially a mom when:

-You look forward to beating your family home so you can have a few moments alone to have a nice hot QUIET shower alone.
-When someone asks you what is on your shirt and your brain starts to chant "Dearlordnotpoopnotpoopnotpoopnotpoopnotpoop"
-You have held and fed a baby with one arm while cleaning spit up off of your couch.
-You have had a conversation with your spouse that involves only sylablles and hand motions because an infant is sleeping on your chest.
-You have had a hilarious conversation with a baby that involved absolutely no words at all and you both totally understood.
-You have attempted to lick what you thought was coffee off of your hand (you know, the sticky coffee residue that can get on the side of your hand from your coffee cup?) and found out it wasn't coffee at all (it wasn't coffee, guys. IT WASN'T COFFEE!)
-You have seriously considered drinking hand sanitizer to get the funk off of your tongue.

Things I've learned in the first two months...(this post is likely to be misconstrued and held against me)

I would like to start out by saying that I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by family and friends that want to be such a huge part of my daughters life. I mean that with all of my heart, truly. It has just recently occurred to me that I may have been putting the needs and wants of the masses ahead of the needs and wants of her father and I. (I realized this about the time I realized that I had not taken any pictures of her baptism nor were there any pictures of us with our daughter for her baptism. We will never get that day back. It made me cry.) This weekend we finally stood up and said no to event invitations and took two entire days alone at home with our daughter and it has been amazing. She has stayed on a schedule, we have had tummy time and play time and some of the funniest conversations involving only grunts and syllables in the entire galaxy. Cheech (our puppy) has actually tried to play with her for the first time, which leads me to believe that the problem wasn't that he wasn't into babies, it was that he wasn't around her enough to figure her out. Once she is big enough to throw a tennis ball, I think they will be best friends. This weekend was just what the four of us needed, which leads me to the following list...

The most important things to remember:
I am her mother, not her driver. I should act like it.
When she is sleeping, we will not be leaving the house.
When she is eating or due to eat, we will not be leaving the house.
If we have not spent at LEAST three consecutive hours together as a family, we will not be leaving the house.


These are our new family rules and I am sticking to them. Now back to baby time, I don't want to miss a thing...

tomorrow is gonna suck

I can't really think about anything other than that,well that and the fact that I hate my new laptop because the HP people thought that silver keys with silver letters would look cool but isn't functional AT ALL.  I'm a little grumpy. I start back at work romorrow (GOD DAMN YOU HP!) tomorrow. I start back at work tomorrow whick means (GOD DAMN YOU HP!) which means that I have to take my girl to daycare where she gets to spread her cute all over people who aren't me. All day. Without mommy. 8 hours. I hate work. and HP. Screw real life.

Hello old friends!

I have been MIA and I apologize but it is CRAZY hard to blog with a newborn! Talk about a trip! I will be the first to admit that I am the same girl that swore I  wasn't getting married until I had "nothing better to do with her life" (I got married at 20) and then swore I was never having children (Hello biological clock!) so I clearly had no clue what I really wanted out of life back then.
(side-note: one sentence in and I have stopped twice to retrieve a binky and suck snot out of tiny nostrils. I have no clue where I was going with that intro...)
Okay, just had to stop to re-wrap the girl twice, explain that if I don't keep her arms warm the police will take her away from me and then counter her resounding argument with the super mature retort of "brown hair, don't care."
Her arms still aren't swaddled.
Me = mother of the year.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I freaking love motherhood. Seriously.
Six weeks in and I think I am getting the hang of this. Now, don't get me wrong..this is the biggest, scariest thing I have ever done and it took a lot of adjusting (and Prozac) to get to the point of being able to say I can totally do this. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for that little girl.

My favorite things that have surprised me with my daughter:
Dance parties with her are way more fun than a dance club on a saturday night.
She has great taste in music.
She has an awesome sense of humor and irony.

Now for pictures. :)

That's my girl!!

Seriously....I made that.

an update and a warning.

I am in the world’s shittiest mood and I still have no information from my doctor. Evidently my liver test was fine and they have no clue when the bile test (the actual test to diagnose cholestasis) will be back. He thinks perhaps I should just see a dermatologist for a rash that I don’t even have. I also wonder what the fuck he thinks a dermatologist will be able to do for my insomnia and nausea. Perhaps a dermatologist could also deliver my baby? Ass. I am seriously about a day from just giving up on eating or sleeping and my next appointment is on Monday so my outlook isn’t too great, as you can tell. Since the wonderful Dr. can’t come up with a course of treatment I guess I will just have to go with no sleep and no food until he can come up with a better fucking plan or at least decide to read the actual notes on my visit with Dr. Hany from Thursday and come up with something better. I am so sick of this I don’t even care anymore. I give up.

I am AWFUL at being pregnant, even my organs are ticked.

I am currently waiting on the results of a Bile Salts Lab and a liver function test. Awesome. Evidently they think my body is so cranky about being pregnant that my liver and gallbladder aren't even on speaking terms at this point. If my bile levels are elevated then I am moved to high risk and either put on bed rest (I'm totally cool with that since I can't sleep at all anymore) or admitted to the hospital for constant monitoring (Not cool with this at all). The main issue will be that currently my liver is running Baby Girl's liver and if my liver is being a total douche then they will have to harvest Baby Girl from my womb at 37 weeks for her safety. My liver may be an asshole. We shall see if my labs ever come back. I am not terribly hopeful as I have all of the damn symptoms of this issue (called Cholestasis of Pregnancy) which just so happens to be the oddest mix of symptoms EVER. Seriously, who would think that the following list of sympton would even be related let alone a symptom of liver malfunction? Syptoms include: Itching of the soles of your feet and palms of your hands (insane freaking itching that makes you serioulsy consider shaving off your skin at 1 a.m.? (check)), Insomnia (check), Depression (check), Nausea (gorp. blargh. blech. (check)), upper quadrant pain (this actually makes sense since that is where your liver is. (check.)) and jaundice (nope.). I will say that the doctor gave me a very tiny script of Ambien and warned not to take it unless absolutely necessary and not two nights in a row due to the addictive nature of the drug. I have taken it twice since my appt and I have to tell you that I totally see why people will get addicted. It was not only the best sleep I have ever had but I woke up feeling like myself for the first time in months. It was amazing. It felt like I slept on a cloud while angels brushed my hair and whispered sweet words of encouragement and told me everything would be alright. I haven't been that relaxed since November. Ambien is clearly dangerous.