Question of the Week

I’m learning that motherhood is actually not as difficult as I feared but the challenges I didn’t anticipate are turning out to be quite the rollercoaster…
How do you decide if something is a big enough issue to start an argument over? If you have tried to tell the same people the same thing over and over again, when do you decide to escalate it to the next level and put your cards on the table and finally say “Enough is Enough” and start a good old fashioned rumble? I feel as though every time I make an effort to reach out, I get my hand slapped for not having abided by some invisible rule book that I never got the opportunity to read. I am sick and tired of being ignored, being told I don’t know what is best for my daughter and being told that my wishes do not matter. Most of all being made to feel as though I am being over careful and reckless at the same time because I won’t let her play with certain things or eat certain things and yet waited until she was 8 months old to move her crib mattress down. I watch my daughter’s development every day. I keep track of what she has eaten and if she has had any reactions to any food or dairy product. I am extremely careful with my daughter and I also make sure that she spends as much time as possible bubbling over with great big belly laughs. I love my little girl more than I ever thought I could love. Period. My every moment is spent carefully considering her every need and balancing what is best with what is fun. I also want to make sure that her father and I get to share in all of her “first moments” and I feel like those are getting stolen. She is her father’s daughter. She is my daughter. She is ours. I refuse to feel badly regarding spending time with her alone for family weekends. I refuse the guilt trips. I refuse the anxiety attacks. I refuse to feel badly and give up my precious two days out of seven that I get to see her uninterrupted by work and stress.

Things I've learned in the first two months...(this post is likely to be misconstrued and held against me)

I would like to start out by saying that I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by family and friends that want to be such a huge part of my daughters life. I mean that with all of my heart, truly. It has just recently occurred to me that I may have been putting the needs and wants of the masses ahead of the needs and wants of her father and I. (I realized this about the time I realized that I had not taken any pictures of her baptism nor were there any pictures of us with our daughter for her baptism. We will never get that day back. It made me cry.) This weekend we finally stood up and said no to event invitations and took two entire days alone at home with our daughter and it has been amazing. She has stayed on a schedule, we have had tummy time and play time and some of the funniest conversations involving only grunts and syllables in the entire galaxy. Cheech (our puppy) has actually tried to play with her for the first time, which leads me to believe that the problem wasn't that he wasn't into babies, it was that he wasn't around her enough to figure her out. Once she is big enough to throw a tennis ball, I think they will be best friends. This weekend was just what the four of us needed, which leads me to the following list...

The most important things to remember:
I am her mother, not her driver. I should act like it.
When she is sleeping, we will not be leaving the house.
When she is eating or due to eat, we will not be leaving the house.
If we have not spent at LEAST three consecutive hours together as a family, we will not be leaving the house.


These are our new family rules and I am sticking to them. Now back to baby time, I don't want to miss a thing...

tomorrow is gonna suck

I can't really think about anything other than that,well that and the fact that I hate my new laptop because the HP people thought that silver keys with silver letters would look cool but isn't functional AT ALL.  I'm a little grumpy. I start back at work romorrow (GOD DAMN YOU HP!) tomorrow. I start back at work tomorrow whick means (GOD DAMN YOU HP!) which means that I have to take my girl to daycare where she gets to spread her cute all over people who aren't me. All day. Without mommy. 8 hours. I hate work. and HP. Screw real life.

Hello old friends!

I have been MIA and I apologize but it is CRAZY hard to blog with a newborn! Talk about a trip! I will be the first to admit that I am the same girl that swore I  wasn't getting married until I had "nothing better to do with her life" (I got married at 20) and then swore I was never having children (Hello biological clock!) so I clearly had no clue what I really wanted out of life back then.
(side-note: one sentence in and I have stopped twice to retrieve a binky and suck snot out of tiny nostrils. I have no clue where I was going with that intro...)
Okay, just had to stop to re-wrap the girl twice, explain that if I don't keep her arms warm the police will take her away from me and then counter her resounding argument with the super mature retort of "brown hair, don't care."
Her arms still aren't swaddled.
Me = mother of the year.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I freaking love motherhood. Seriously.
Six weeks in and I think I am getting the hang of this. Now, don't get me wrong..this is the biggest, scariest thing I have ever done and it took a lot of adjusting (and Prozac) to get to the point of being able to say I can totally do this. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for that little girl.

My favorite things that have surprised me with my daughter:
Dance parties with her are way more fun than a dance club on a saturday night.
She has great taste in music.
She has an awesome sense of humor and irony.

Now for pictures. :)

That's my girl!!

Seriously....I made that.