Question of the Week

I’m learning that motherhood is actually not as difficult as I feared but the challenges I didn’t anticipate are turning out to be quite the rollercoaster…
How do you decide if something is a big enough issue to start an argument over? If you have tried to tell the same people the same thing over and over again, when do you decide to escalate it to the next level and put your cards on the table and finally say “Enough is Enough” and start a good old fashioned rumble? I feel as though every time I make an effort to reach out, I get my hand slapped for not having abided by some invisible rule book that I never got the opportunity to read. I am sick and tired of being ignored, being told I don’t know what is best for my daughter and being told that my wishes do not matter. Most of all being made to feel as though I am being over careful and reckless at the same time because I won’t let her play with certain things or eat certain things and yet waited until she was 8 months old to move her crib mattress down. I watch my daughter’s development every day. I keep track of what she has eaten and if she has had any reactions to any food or dairy product. I am extremely careful with my daughter and I also make sure that she spends as much time as possible bubbling over with great big belly laughs. I love my little girl more than I ever thought I could love. Period. My every moment is spent carefully considering her every need and balancing what is best with what is fun. I also want to make sure that her father and I get to share in all of her “first moments” and I feel like those are getting stolen. She is her father’s daughter. She is my daughter. She is ours. I refuse to feel badly regarding spending time with her alone for family weekends. I refuse the guilt trips. I refuse the anxiety attacks. I refuse to feel badly and give up my precious two days out of seven that I get to see her uninterrupted by work and stress.

Things I've learned in the first two months...(this post is likely to be misconstrued and held against me)

I would like to start out by saying that I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by family and friends that want to be such a huge part of my daughters life. I mean that with all of my heart, truly. It has just recently occurred to me that I may have been putting the needs and wants of the masses ahead of the needs and wants of her father and I. (I realized this about the time I realized that I had not taken any pictures of her baptism nor were there any pictures of us with our daughter for her baptism. We will never get that day back. It made me cry.) This weekend we finally stood up and said no to event invitations and took two entire days alone at home with our daughter and it has been amazing. She has stayed on a schedule, we have had tummy time and play time and some of the funniest conversations involving only grunts and syllables in the entire galaxy. Cheech (our puppy) has actually tried to play with her for the first time, which leads me to believe that the problem wasn't that he wasn't into babies, it was that he wasn't around her enough to figure her out. Once she is big enough to throw a tennis ball, I think they will be best friends. This weekend was just what the four of us needed, which leads me to the following list...

The most important things to remember:
I am her mother, not her driver. I should act like it.
When she is sleeping, we will not be leaving the house.
When she is eating or due to eat, we will not be leaving the house.
If we have not spent at LEAST three consecutive hours together as a family, we will not be leaving the house.


These are our new family rules and I am sticking to them. Now back to baby time, I don't want to miss a thing...

Things I really miss in this 7th month.

1. Taking a deep breath. Seriously. No one tells you that you lose the ability to take a deep breath. No wonder you are prone to random panic attacks in the third trimester!! No body can get enough oxygen!
2. Sleeping. In General. I remember sleep being awesome, like spending a few beautiful hours floating on a cloud while angels stroked your forehead and sang you a sweet lullaby. Now it sucks. Badly.
3. My body.  I really don't think I will ever get it back at this stage. WTH. How is this going to go back?? I need a trainer.
4. Walking to Starbucks on break. It is less than 10 yards away. I felt like I completed a triathalon and needed a nap afterwards, no joke.
5. Being able to watch a TV drama without having an irrational reaction to something that happened to an animal or child. or woman. or man. or houseplant. (sigh)
6. Sitting on my couch. How does a couch become uncomfortable in a week. I hate that thing now. I have ONE chair that is comfortable and not too deep or too low. Stupid couch.
7. The sweet little kicks that I looked forward to. Now I mostly feel Braxton Hicks contractions and they suck. Although she did get the hiccups last night and that was pretty cool. That was a definite plus.
8. The idea that there is plenty of time to get stuff ready. There isn't.
9. Sanity. Everything that feels wrong or hurts terrifies me. I've already had one emergency check up thanks to the BH contractions. I just need to know she is good and staying where she is for 2 more months but on the other hand...number 10.
10. The "sit back and enjoy this time" mentality. I am getting antsy. I would like to see her. When does July get here??

Please Bookmark this site for your online shopping

I can't put into words how much I love this site and what it does. All you have to do it access the stores you normally shop at from the website http://www.letshelpanimals.org/ and you donate money without adding any additional cost to the price you were going to spend anyway! It is just one extra click and can mean the world to an animal in need. As an added bonus Target is one of the retailers listed so any registry presents bought through them will automatically help my favorite cause! Everyone check out what they have to offer and please bookmark this site for future online shopping. It would mean the world to an animal and to me.

It's a girl!

No, we haven't had the baby yet but we did get to spy on her in her natural habitat this morning and it was AWESOME! Here is what we learned..she does not like to be woken up and she gets quite annoyed when jiggled out of her slumber. I know she is going to take after me because I got to watch her throw a huge arm swinging, feet kicking fit after the songoram chick woke her up. It was awesome and she definitely has an attitude on her.
I can't wait to see her again!!

Update

I posted a new belly picture this morning. I am just excited that I am looking pregnant instead of just chunky finally :) Excuse my bathroom..I hate cleaning it.

do you like my pretty new theme?

I am sick to death of winter and was in desperate need of something green and alive! I really don't have anything else to blog about other than the fact that I was looking over this years calendar and realized I am going to have an infant this year for halloween. Freaking sweet.

sorry, I have been MIA lately.

There has been a lot going on! I will be able to tell you all about it soon but for now I have to keep that little tidbit of news under wraps. I do, however, have a new obsession. It is called my brand new, bright red, locking  lidded crock pot. I know, I know..how lame, but seriously I love it. It is pretty and I can throw stuff in it in the morning and I come home and that magic little pot made me dinner. The inventer deserves a medal or a lap dance, I don't know..something good.
In related news, I scared the crap out of husband this morning when I woke up after a dream dripping with pink jelly beans and decided that I should just get started on some crock pot cacciatore. He woke up to me in the kitchen chopping onions and decided the only logical explanation had to be that I was sleepwalking? SERIOUSLY! He thought I was chopping onions in my sleep and stumbled downstairs to save me from my self-inflicted demise at the hand of a sharp knife and my own slumber. He's a truly wonderful husband and he cracks me up.

Just for the Birthday Girl!

Just for you, Lisa!!
He actually does look kinda cute in this one..Happy early Birthday!