so much stress, but I will have plenty of storage for it all

So the perfect husband, baby puppy and I will be embarking on a new adventure soon. Soonish. Soon-y? Soon, if you can call once the cars are paid off and we find a piece of land that fits our criteria and finally come to terms with a design and materials and my husband and I decide on a color of brick, soon, then soon. Anyway...
We will be building a new home. argh. I have a feeling that I may have finally bit off more than I can chew guys. I am so gonna lose it but I am also starting to get really excited. We have been looking at houses since before Frankie was born and nothing was ever exactly what we really wanted or in the area we wanted and it started to seem like we were paying an awful lot to not get even CLOSE to what we wanted so we are finally biting the bullet and shopping for land instead. I have found a few house plans and the father in law is an architect so I will be picking his brain like crazy, I have some modified plans in the works and we will be attending the local home builders show this weekend so I can say that I am equal parts excited and terrified but over the next 2-3 years I am sure I will have this all worked out. :) (God I hope it dosent take that long...)

Here is an idea I modified in paint :)

Things I've learned in the first two months...(this post is likely to be misconstrued and held against me)

I would like to start out by saying that I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by family and friends that want to be such a huge part of my daughters life. I mean that with all of my heart, truly. It has just recently occurred to me that I may have been putting the needs and wants of the masses ahead of the needs and wants of her father and I. (I realized this about the time I realized that I had not taken any pictures of her baptism nor were there any pictures of us with our daughter for her baptism. We will never get that day back. It made me cry.) This weekend we finally stood up and said no to event invitations and took two entire days alone at home with our daughter and it has been amazing. She has stayed on a schedule, we have had tummy time and play time and some of the funniest conversations involving only grunts and syllables in the entire galaxy. Cheech (our puppy) has actually tried to play with her for the first time, which leads me to believe that the problem wasn't that he wasn't into babies, it was that he wasn't around her enough to figure her out. Once she is big enough to throw a tennis ball, I think they will be best friends. This weekend was just what the four of us needed, which leads me to the following list...

The most important things to remember:
I am her mother, not her driver. I should act like it.
When she is sleeping, we will not be leaving the house.
When she is eating or due to eat, we will not be leaving the house.
If we have not spent at LEAST three consecutive hours together as a family, we will not be leaving the house.


These are our new family rules and I am sticking to them. Now back to baby time, I don't want to miss a thing...

blogging about nothing..

It seems like I have the emotional stability of a (insert something you believe lacks emotional stability here). I either have anxiety about how awful I am going to be at motherhood or how all of my friends are going to get sick of my constant blathering, Basically I am a joy to be around. I randomly withdaw from people and then when my husband gets me out of the house to enjoy myself it seems like something always brings down my house of cards.. My mood has been improving lately and I think I am getting to be a bit more like myself again. I have random bursts of backbone and snarky humor (thanks Matthew) but I still randomly need to talk to my mom or sister about (practically) nothing until I feel better. This is one of those things that you halfway look forward to though. I think I was kinda looking to the time when I can lean on my mom and sister and let them welcome me into the sisterhood of moms. I think every young mother probably takes the most comfort from the knowledge gained from the people they have looked up to since they were babies. Not to mention the fact that, if you can't trust your big sister or mom, who the heck can you trust? I should also point out that my Mother-in-law has made me laugh more than a few times regarding my new found belly and fears about this being a lot harder than I thought it would be. I know I am thirty years old but something about this makes me feel like a child (vulnerable and unsure of myself) again. It is a blessing to be able to take a few deep breathes and get a good laugh from the experiences of others. I think this is going to end up being pretty damn cool, but I need to send out some big THANK YOU"S to everyone that has made these first few months easier to navigate. There have been times that I really honestly couldn't breathe I was so terrified and also times where I was so withdrawn that only a call from someone asking me to get out and experience the fun parts of being pregnancy kept me sane. I have a really great support system and I just can't thank any of you enough.