Tell me if you heard this one..

So today I reached an awesomely bad "I'm going to make a great mom" low. I accidently flashed my bum to a high school student. Yep, that is right kids. I mooned a minor. Who has two thumbs and will be mother of the year??? This Gal! Let me explain. First of all it is 61 degrees here in the patch today so I woke up excited to wear my cute new maternity dress (and I look adorable). However, at 7:40 in the morning it was only 37 degrees and there was a layer of hard frost on the SUV, which meant I had to scrap it. I am short. I have to stretch like crazy to try to get the windshiled scrapped around my belly and the big old hood on the Subaru Forester so it must have looked quite awkward. I suddenly felt quite the breeze on the backside so I glanced around quickly to see if my neighbor was home and instead caught the eye of an incredibly red faced student on his walk to school. Oh Dear Lord. I cracked up and that poor kid went a running up the street. Next time I think I will wear a coat to protect the poor innocent youth at my friendly neighborhood catholic high school....Bless me father...I know not what my bum does.

sorry, I have been MIA lately.

There has been a lot going on! I will be able to tell you all about it soon but for now I have to keep that little tidbit of news under wraps. I do, however, have a new obsession. It is called my brand new, bright red, locking  lidded crock pot. I know, I know..how lame, but seriously I love it. It is pretty and I can throw stuff in it in the morning and I come home and that magic little pot made me dinner. The inventer deserves a medal or a lap dance, I don't know..something good.
In related news, I scared the crap out of husband this morning when I woke up after a dream dripping with pink jelly beans and decided that I should just get started on some crock pot cacciatore. He woke up to me in the kitchen chopping onions and decided the only logical explanation had to be that I was sleepwalking? SERIOUSLY! He thought I was chopping onions in my sleep and stumbled downstairs to save me from my self-inflicted demise at the hand of a sharp knife and my own slumber. He's a truly wonderful husband and he cracks me up.

HOLY VACATION, BATMAN!

So, we are roughly 16 days from my Jamaica vacation where I will witness my BEST FRIEND EVAH marry a guy I ACTUALLY like! How great is that?!?!?!? Know what is even better??? Finding out we are taking the same conncetion from Charlotte to Montego Bay!!! Holy crap I can't stand it... Now you are going to get a plethora of random BFF pics..so there.

blogger is trying to make me find Jesus.

If you click next from my blog you will be reading all about Psalms and Jesus and...Deer? Yeah, I don't get that one either. Basically what I am getting at is.. "I WAS BAPTISED AT 6 MONTHS OLD, BLOGGER!! I DON'T NEED SAVED!! I JUST REALLY LIKE CURSING!! SHITBALLS COCK COCK SURF TESTICALS DOUCHEBALL ASSHAT!"

Okay, then.
That is all.