Monday, April 2, 2012

Question of the Week

I’m learning that motherhood is actually not as difficult as I feared but the challenges I didn’t anticipate are turning out to be quite the rollercoaster…
How do you decide if something is a big enough issue to start an argument over? If you have tried to tell the same people the same thing over and over again, when do you decide to escalate it to the next level and put your cards on the table and finally say “Enough is Enough” and start a good old fashioned rumble? I feel as though every time I make an effort to reach out, I get my hand slapped for not having abided by some invisible rule book that I never got the opportunity to read. I am sick and tired of being ignored, being told I don’t know what is best for my daughter and being told that my wishes do not matter. Most of all being made to feel as though I am being over careful and reckless at the same time because I won’t let her play with certain things or eat certain things and yet waited until she was 8 months old to move her crib mattress down. I watch my daughter’s development every day. I keep track of what she has eaten and if she has had any reactions to any food or dairy product. I am extremely careful with my daughter and I also make sure that she spends as much time as possible bubbling over with great big belly laughs. I love my little girl more than I ever thought I could love. Period. My every moment is spent carefully considering her every need and balancing what is best with what is fun. I also want to make sure that her father and I get to share in all of her “first moments” and I feel like those are getting stolen. She is her father’s daughter. She is my daughter. She is ours. I refuse to feel badly regarding spending time with her alone for family weekends. I refuse the guilt trips. I refuse the anxiety attacks. I refuse to feel badly and give up my precious two days out of seven that I get to see her uninterrupted by work and stress.

No comments:

Post a Comment