Tuesday, January 10, 2012

This one is a little rough. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Today is 10 pounds of suck in a 8 pound bag.

There is really no other way I can describe today… I am having a rough one and it isn’t due to anything that has happened directly to me. I am upset that I am currently located smack dab in the middle of two other locations in the country that need me (or don’t? I don’t know.) I wish I was in Iowa so I could talk with my cousin, who I think could use someone to vent to or a drinking buddy, at the very least. I also wish I was in South Carolina with my best friend and her daughter who are having a suck fest of their own. I hate being far away from the people that I love. HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE it! This brings me to the root of most problems that have been causing problems in my loved ones lives lately and I feel that I need to vent a bit. I feel I should warn my readers that I do not give two shits if this offends anyone. If you are a parent, the main requirement is now and ALWAYS HAS BEEN that you love your child. Simple, right? Yes. Okay. Let’s get a little more complicated in the next step. Now, you also need to put your child’s needs ahead of your own. Okay, who did I confuse? Anyone? If I did, then STEP THE FUCK OUT OF THE GODDAMNED GENE POOL! Now (Holy Shitballs y’all. It is gonna get tough but I promise this is the last step. Toughen up!) Read the first requirement. Now read the second requirement. See that first one? See that second one? Okay, this is the last one. Re-read them. Re-read them again. THAT LASTS FOR YOUR CHILD’S ENTIRE LIFE!

If you can’t handle that, let me know and I will drop by at your leisure and sterilize you free of charge.

Have a wonderful day.


  1. Thanks! Simple and concise. Perfect.

  2. Thanks! Simple and concise. Perfect.

  3. Sterilize this. :). Now go take me more pictures of that darling baby wearing the moustache, do it while out and about around town. You could replace planking with that as a fad.

  4. DAMN IT! Quit posting as anonymous! I never know who is saying funny things and cheering me up! :)