Wednesday, April 20, 2011

FYI, Yes I will be returning to work

I was just emailing my best friend when she sent me a link to a blog about how bitchy people can get about working moms and daycare. I am beginning to feel quite strongly about this issue as I have recently been receiving the "Ohhh, You WILL be going back to work after the baby??" question in the tone of voice that suggests that I may not be a great mom or perhaps I should have waited until we could afford a child instead of paying strangers to raise her. I'd like to clear something up right now. I will be returning to work and the reasons are not purely financial. I am good at what I do. I like what I do. I feel good about doing what I do. I am positive there will be days that I will hate leaving my baby girl but I have selected a fantastic home day care where I am completely comfortable with her being. I am diagnosed with OCD and being able to say that I finally have a puppy sitter that I trust took almost 7 years so trust me that this daycare thing was a big deal. A very BIG DEAL. I have been using smart ass humor to end the conversation up to this point (i.e. My answer has mainly been that I have to go back to work to support our coke habit, if you think the price of gas has gone up you would be amazed at the current mark up on pharmaceutical grade cocaine!) and if people don't know that that is a joke then they can just eff right off. I have nothing against being a stay at home mom, I was raised by a stay at home mom who took care of all four of us kids and kept a beautiful home on top of that. God bless her. I would also like to tell you what else my mom excelled at: she taught my sister and me to be independent and speak our mind and never rely on anyone for anything that you can provide for yourself. This isn't a reflection on my parent’s marriage in any way as they are still happily married after what seems like eons. I am pretty sure around 50 years, in fact. This was just the way she wanted us to behave so that she knew we would be able to take care of ourselves in the face of any obstacle. I am happily married (heading to year 11 already! Time sure flies!) and expecting my first baby and I plan on raising my daughter the exact same way. I just hope by the time I am welcoming my first grand baby that people will have a much more evolved view of the working mother. I am embarking on working two full time jobs and I simply couldn't be happier. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you judgmental old bags.

7 comments:

  1. It goes the same way with people that want to stay home with their kids Angie. It has been a dream of mine to be able to spend the first couple of years at home with my future children and people (my own age) look at me like I am crazy. They love to tell me I will be bored and it won't be good on a marriage. People just liking being in other people's business. I say good for you at raising your daughter the way that you want to - she will be an amazing little girl!
    ~Susan

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  2. Oh good lord. I'm the meanest person in the world and the the only crazy thing I think you've done is ok a wipe warmer (I'm sorry, I just think it's silly). If anyone disagrees with how you want to raise your baby, they should keep their mouth shut. And you know what, if you stayed home, it wouldn't be perfect, and if you put the kid in daycare, it's not gonna be perfect. Because it can't be. No one's perfect. You just do the best that you can, and usually, that's just fine. Now if I could just follow my own advice...

    Oh, and I'm pretty sure your mom got married when she was about 18, and she's 65 now, so that's 47 years. Not too shabby.

    And while I'm giving my two cents, I'm putting my vote in for the name Francesca. Some of the other names you've mentioned are pretty, but they're getting trendy. Nothing wrong with that, I just think Francesca is such a pretty and unique name (just as I'm sure your little girl will be.) God that was corny.

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  3. I'm with you, Angie. When I start popping out children, I will be returning to work also. Unfortunately, some parts of our society are still stuck on that whole working mom stigma. As if we had gone to college, put a decade into a career, just to kill some time before we could squeeze a few kids out. Having children will be an exciting, important time in my life. However Stephen and I choose to integrate that decision into our lives is our own damn business. As it is yours and Anthony's. Some people choose to stay at home - I'm glad that they have or can make that decision. Gold star for them! No bueno passing judgement on the career woman.

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  4. Thanks guys!! I feel pretty strongly that no one should be able to make you feel like crap for living your life as you see fit. It just gets pretty ridiculous when people I barely know think they get an opinion on this stuff when I don't even take opinions from my family!! Also, no touchy my belly if you want to keep your damn hands.

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  5. Liv- Thanks!!! that is the name we have decided on! We will probably call her Frankie.:) I can't wait to see her. Are you coming in June?

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  6. Yes, I'm planning on coming in June. In fact, I think Dan's already requested time off. Prepare yourself for eco-friendly shower gifts. I'll probably forgo the registry. Besides, I have no doubt there are plenty of people willing to buy all that stuff.

    I really wanna see your belly button. It's always been a little different. Can't wait to see what pregnancy's done to it.

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  7. It's super weird. I'm not a big fan of my belly button right now. I really want it to go back in.
    I hope there are people willing to buy from the registry, mom told me that old people dont shop from registries so now I am convinced that I will have 100 stuffed animals and frilly dresses but will be without a mattress, car seat or bedding. There is a lot of stuff that is needed when one brings home a newborn. It freaks me out when I think about it. Yikes..

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