I'm feeling a little hormonal and grumpy today.

I have recently gone off on a tangent about the following (a wrap up):
People having an opinion on my birth plan. (I don't really care what you think, it's my vagina. FYI.)
Returning to work after my matrnity leave.
Gift registries (I am freaked out that no one will buy from the registry and my baby will have to sleep in a box.)
And finally..Motherhood in general and how everyone wants to tell me exactly how little I know and how much I have to learn. (if you can't be supportive and not make me feel worthless then jump off)

Also, I would punch my grandma for some soft serve ice cream.

FYI, Yes I will be returning to work

I was just emailing my best friend when she sent me a link to a blog about how bitchy people can get about working moms and daycare. I am beginning to feel quite strongly about this issue as I have recently been receiving the "Ohhh, You WILL be going back to work after the baby??" question in the tone of voice that suggests that I may not be a great mom or perhaps I should have waited until we could afford a child instead of paying strangers to raise her. I'd like to clear something up right now. I will be returning to work and the reasons are not purely financial. I am good at what I do. I like what I do. I feel good about doing what I do. I am positive there will be days that I will hate leaving my baby girl but I have selected a fantastic home day care where I am completely comfortable with her being. I am diagnosed with OCD and being able to say that I finally have a puppy sitter that I trust took almost 7 years so trust me that this daycare thing was a big deal. A very BIG DEAL. I have been using smart ass humor to end the conversation up to this point (i.e. My answer has mainly been that I have to go back to work to support our coke habit, if you think the price of gas has gone up you would be amazed at the current mark up on pharmaceutical grade cocaine!) and if people don't know that that is a joke then they can just eff right off. I have nothing against being a stay at home mom, I was raised by a stay at home mom who took care of all four of us kids and kept a beautiful home on top of that. God bless her. I would also like to tell you what else my mom excelled at: she taught my sister and me to be independent and speak our mind and never rely on anyone for anything that you can provide for yourself. This isn't a reflection on my parent’s marriage in any way as they are still happily married after what seems like eons. I am pretty sure around 50 years, in fact. This was just the way she wanted us to behave so that she knew we would be able to take care of ourselves in the face of any obstacle. I am happily married (heading to year 11 already! Time sure flies!) and expecting my first baby and I plan on raising my daughter the exact same way. I just hope by the time I am welcoming my first grand baby that people will have a much more evolved view of the working mother. I am embarking on working two full time jobs and I simply couldn't be happier. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you judgmental old bags.

Please Bookmark this site for your online shopping

I can't put into words how much I love this site and what it does. All you have to do it access the stores you normally shop at from the website http://www.letshelpanimals.org/ and you donate money without adding any additional cost to the price you were going to spend anyway! It is just one extra click and can mean the world to an animal in need. As an added bonus Target is one of the retailers listed so any registry presents bought through them will automatically help my favorite cause! Everyone check out what they have to offer and please bookmark this site for future online shopping. It would mean the world to an animal and to me.

Weekly round up..

Things are moving right along on the pregnancy front. I will randomly get all bajiggity regarding how much time has passed and how little I feel like we have accomplished. We are currently in the process of emptying out our office/guest room/catch all to transform it into a little baby wonderland which is proving much more stressful that I assumed it would be. We have a ton of crap and it isn’t necessarily easy to figure out where to put it or how to dispose of it. I really wish I could just get everything thrown out in one weekend so I could get it off my mind but it isn’t just up to me since the majority of the stuff in there is the husbands so I have to be patient and I absolutely suck at that. Sheesh, I am getting stressed out just writing about it. On to better topics...


I finally got registered at Penney’s and Target for baby stuff so that is taken care of. I feel badly because pretty much 85% of what I registered for is online only so you can’t just head out and pick it up on a whim but at least I have my list together. It is amazing how much stuff you need that you don’t think about prior to actually nearing your 3rd trimester. There is a ton of stuff on the registry that I never contemplated needing but evidently you just can’t live without it. I suppose a wipe warmer makes sense as a wet cold wipe on a sensitive bum would be a bit shocking for an infant but I had never heard of such a thing! Back in the planning stages all I thought about was what colors to paint and all the cute things I wanted to buy our baby and thought I had it all planned out. Total BS. I hadn’t a clue what we would actually need to embark on this endeavor! Wowzers..so for any of my friends are checking my registry I do apologize..there is a lot of crap on it and I will be purchasing plenty on the list as well but I had to use it to gather my thoughts as to what functional items we would require as well. I am a tad bit overwhelmed. I trust most of you have been there and will reserve judgment on the level of my ridiculousness for that reason. Thanks in advance ;)

Catching up!

Anthony still won’t let me post the sonogram pictures but I can tell you she is a crazy beautiful little girl with huge eyes and big lips like her momma. She kind of looks like a doll and I can't wait to hold her. We get to have another sonogram on the 13th so they can get the pictures she wouldn't hold still for the first time (she is going to be a handful!) so I hopefully will get to watch her throw a hissy fit again. OH! It finally happened. Baby girl kicked Cheech. It was awesome! He insists on trying to sit where my lap USED to be and ends up in this weird position that looks like a cross between a magician doing his “Voila!” and a gang member sprawled on a bench from one of those lock up shows on MSNBC. (Shut up, I love those shows..That is real reality TV drama people!) So picture my dog all sprawled half on my lap and half on my belly when baby girl decided she was unhappily smushed and gave a great big kick. Cheech jumped and spun his head around to look at my belly, expecting to see SOMETHING but just ending up confused. He got up and moved off the belly with a puppy sigh and settled next to me. Poor thing didn’t even get any sympathy because I was laughing too darn hard to comfort him! I really hope they can be friends after they get used to each other!

I am trying to get a handle on what her current schedule is so that I can be prepared for when she gets here but as far as I can tell she just wakes up about every 3 hours and throws herself a little party until she is worn out and then grabs some more z's. She is a lot like me in college. :)

Managing Expectations in Life

In business, managing your client’s expectations up front can save a lot of time and stress in the future for everyone involved. In life, the same is absolutely true. I have learned that when dealing with people who have hurt you, you can't continue to expect something that someone is just not willing to provide. In this respect the only thing you can control is how you manage your expectations of the relationship. We all have many complicated relationships revolving around us at all times and it is completely understandable that we would hope to have each of those be completely equal and fulfilling be it friend, acquaintance, lover or family but the odds of that happening are slim. The best way to proceed once this has been proven is to immediately reevaluate the situation and take you out of the equation. I tend to be very sensitive and I dwell on situations that I have no control over. In this respect I have left myself open to a lot of unnecessary heartache. The most important lessons I have learned are these: You can’t control others actions, only your reactions and that YOU teach people how to treat you. If you are constantly stuck in the same cycle in relationships then the only thing that you can do to mitigate any further emotional stress or pain is to work to control how you let the relationship affect your life. We CAN control who is in our lives and how much power we give them, if they prove unworthy then all you have to do is take the power away and move on knowing that you did what you could and you had control over your own part of the relationship. When any relationship becomes too much work and not enough reward then all you can do is be honest and move on. Learning this truth can really take a weight off of our shoulders and let you rest and this emotional baggage is the best kind of weight to lose.

Crazy pregnancy dreams..

Last night I was transported to pre-Cold War Russia where I was being hidden out by the Catholic church with my baby, who was a demon. Yep, my baby in the dream was a boy (a really odd chubby boy) who lit things on fire and always had a lighter gripped in his fat little hands and would randomly throw up green noxious fluids and scream nonsense. Add to this that the Catholic Church had some sort of clinic for free healthcare where a scary looking old man would heal you with worms and salves. I was put into the care of an American Soldier who was to ferry us back to safety but he would only do so if I could arrange a radiation shower for him because he had been exposed to something during "The Uprising" and that was the only treatment.
I have no clue what the hell this means or why my brain made it up..also I woke up before I was able to get out of Russia...
I am baffled.